Count Your Blessings

Last night I was able to attend a dinner that the stake provided and then watch the Relief Society Broadcast with a couple of wonderful friends from our ward. I have been thinking last night and today about the feelings I felt during the broadcast and about how grateful I am for the holy ghost. One of the girls I went with was joking and telling us she'd been going through a roller coaster of emotions lately and that we shouldn't be surprised or judge her if she started bawling during the broadcast. I just laughed and thought to myself, well I know I won't cry. As the meeting started though and the choir and congregation started singing "Count Your Blessings" as the opening hymn, I was surprised to feel overcome with emotion. The past 11 months have been both a blessing and a struggle for me. On the one hand, I am married to such a wonderful man and I feel so blessed to have found him. I often recall the feeling of loneliness and hopelessness that I felt so many times before I met him. I went on so many dates and blind dates and I remember hoping before each one that "this would be him!" I often wished that I could just see into the future and know where I would meet him and what he looked like, and just the fact that he did exist. I felt like if I could do that, then I would be able to enjoy life in the present so much more. It all worked out though, and I know it was all for a purpose and on the Lord's timetable and I am so happy to be married! It has been an adventure living here in Texas and it has taught me so much. I'm so thankful that his family lives close and that I get along with and love them all.

On the other hand, it has been very hard for me to be so far from my family. I consider my siblings my closest friends, and I have missed them and their spouses and my parents and new nephews SO much! We are such a tight family and we do so much together and I have just felt like I have been missing out on so much. So, back to the broadcast...... As the camera started panning the audience at the conference center, it made me think of my mom. She and I (and later, my sister) have had the tradition of going to the Conference Center for either the YW General Broadcast, or the Relief Society General Broadcast (depending on our age). So, as they showed everyone there, I thought of all the times I had been a part of the congregation with my mom and my sister by my side. What priceless memories those are for me. I can't say that I remember every talk that was given, but I can distinctly recall the spirit that I felt being in the presence of a living prophet of God. As I sang the words "count your blessings, name them one by one," I thought of what a blessing my mom has been and the example that she has always tried to be. She'll be the first to admit she's not perfect, and that she's made mistakes, but I know she's trying her hardest. She has always made sure that we knew without a doubt that she loves us, and she has always done her best to show it. Thank you mom! The fourth verse really touched me and I felt the spirit testify to me that Heavenly Father loves me and is mindful of me. "So amid the conflict, whether great or small, Do not be discouraged, God is over all. Count your many blessings angels will attend, Help and comfort give you to your journey's end. Count your blessings; Name them one by one. Count your blessings; see what God hath done. Count your blessings; Name them one by one. Count your many blessings; See what God hath done." So, as I was singing these words with tears running down my cheeks, I reflected over the past year or so and the struggles I have had with missing my family and being in a new place and a new culture and environment. So quickly though, all of the blessings were brought to my mind to replace the struggles; My husband, his family, his wonderful job, the gospel, the ward and the sweet friends I have made, my family and the fact that we are so close, the opportunity that I have had to fly home several times this year, my job, the material things we've been blessed with, and the list goes on and on. There have only been a few days where I have felt really sad, and I know that Heavenly Father has helped me not to feel discouraged or depressed. I know that angels were there in the temple with us when we were married, and I know there have been times since then when my grandma has been my angel. I am SO THANKFUL for eternal families. What a blessing it is that we are born into families and that we have the opportunity to get to know, and grow to love one another and then go out on our own and still cultivate those relationships while also starting our own little families. I feel so happy to know that that love and those relationships will continue forever if we do the things we've been sent to earth to do, and live the way the Savior taught.

I want my family to know how much I love each of you! How grateful I feel that we are so close. I will forever be thankful to mom and dad for instilling in us that "Friends will come and go, but your siblings will always be there." Also, I want my siblings and my parents to know how thankful I am that you never gave up on me! When I was struggling and making poor choices in my life you stood by me and loved me and you helped me realize what I was missing and that I would never truly be happy. I don't know that I have ever formally said thank you! There have been so many times when I have reflected back on conversations we had and the love and concern that was there. I thought about that last night as I listened to President Monson speak. There was a time when I wasn't able to have the spirit with me and I recognized the absence of it. Now I appreciate it SO much more when I am able to feel the spirit. I never want to lose that again! I am so thankful for my testimony and the knowledge that I have of the restoration of the gospel and the truthfulness of it. I knew last night once again, that there is a living prophet. As he spoke the spirit was so strong, and I felt so happy!