Missing Grandma

Today is the one year anniversary of the death of my grandma. I just wanted to take a minute to remember her and what an amazing woman she was. I have thought a lot about her this weekend, and have replayed over and over again in my head this day, a year ago. I will never forget it, or the feelings I had when I woke up that morning in San Antonio to several missed calls and I just knew she was gone.

Zsa was such an incredible woman. She is one of my heros! She has always taken care of others and put them before herself. She was a nurse by profession, and a mother of three. She married an alcoholic and basically raised three children on her own. She was a strong willed woman and didn't let her husband walk all over her. She made sure that the kids had a wonderful childhood and took them on vacations, and to see family, and loved having their friends over to play. If her husband wasn't going to help her, then she decided she would do it on her own. They were later divorced and my grandpa died shortly after I was born. Zsa was always surrounded by friends. She was a true friend to so many people. Even during her last months on earth a friend that she had had while in nursing came out and took care of her for a few weeks.

Zsa was an incredible grandma. She loved her family so much. She moved to Utah from Kentucky in 1998 to be near her two daughters and their children. She made sure she was at every important event of our lives like birthdays, graduations, baptisms, setting apart for callings, weddings, etc. She used to come to my parent's house on Sundays for dinner. We LOVED having her. If she called and said she wasn't going to make it one Sunday, the kids would call and beg her to come. If she'd made up her mind though, she wasn't coming=) My dad would always give her a hard time about the way she would pronounce things with her southern accent. Piana(piano), Winda(window), Mirra(mirror). She would give him a hard time back. I loved hearing them tease each other. I loved going to her house to visit, or to help her. Before my mission I used to go to her house and help her mow the lawn, or trim her rose bushes and pick weeds. Sometimes when I would get there early in the morning and she would still be asleep, I would start the yard work. As soon as she knew I was there she was up and dressed and would come out to help. She wasn't one to just sit by and watch someone else work. She'd sweep up, or hose the grass clippings, help with the roses, or whatever she could find. I loved being with her. She became one of my close friends. When I was having a down day I would go to her house and she would cheer me up. She was always a happy person and she loved to talk. I could listen to her tell stories of her life for hours. The grandkids always loved going to her house to spend the night. Sometimes instead of sleeping in the guest bedrooms, we'd just crawl in bed with her. She loved spending time with us.

Grandma was one of the funniest people I have ever met in my life. I don't think I have laughed as much since she's been gone. She never tried to be funny. It was just the way she said things, and sometimes she would say things you didn't expect her to say but she was just telling it like it was. Her accent made things so much funnier too. Joe and I still joke about when my entire family watched the movie "Bedtime Stories" a few months before she passed away. She was watching it with us for a bit and then she got up out of her chair and said "This is the stupidest movie I have ever seen!" and we all just busted up laughing. She just said what she thought!

This year has been very hard without her. I can't tell you how many times I have thought about or missed her. When someone has always been a part of your life, and then all of the sudden they're gone it's very hard. I think the hardest thing was not having her at my wedding. She was there for all of my sibling's weddings, and when I look at our pictures and she's not in them it breaks my heart. I know she was there in spirit at the temple with us. The sealer told us at the beginning of the ceremony that he could feel the presence of others with us in the room who had passed through the veil. I had been praying that I would be able to know she was there, and that Joe would be able to feel that his mom was there. When the sealer said that, I knew my prayers had been answered. Even though she wasn't physically at our wedding, I feel blessed that she got to meet and get to know Joe. She loved him so much. I feel like she was just hanging on until she knew I had met someone wonderful. She had worried about me and who I had dated before and I knew it was a real concern for her. A couple days before she passed away, I just had the feeling that I needed to go home from work and spend some time with her. Aunt Vicki, and my mom , I think either Emily or Justina, and I were there with her in her room. I laid next to her in her bed and we all just sat there and talked. Joe had already had to leave to go back to Texas and Aunt Vicki asked me how things were going and when we were getting married. Zsa opened her eyes and perked up and said that before he had left that he had told her that he was going to propose. I think that gave her comfort to know that I was in good hands. I feel so blessed to have her has my grandma. I couldn't have asked for a better role model and friend. She served in the temple, volunteered at Red Cross, fulfilled her church callings, attended a FHE group, and she loved the gospel. She was a convert along with my mom and my aunt. My mom joined at 19 and they joined shortly after. She dropped all her bad habits, and never looked back. I know one day we will be reunited. Until then, I hope that as I go through life that I can aspire to be even half the woman she was. I love her and miss her so much. Your legacy will live on Zsa! You won't ever be forgotten!