Showered With Love

I realize I have already had the baby, but there are a couple posts I need to catch up on before blogging about Brooklynn. First, is the incredible baby shower that Joe's Family threw for me, and the following post will be the nursery reveal. 

On March 23, 2013 Serena, Sharon, and Julie threw the cutest little Easter Themed Baby Shower at our place.  Sharon hung all the cute pom poms and lanterns the night before, and everything looked so cute.  She set up the tables with the cute tablecloths and pretty pink flowers too, and it was just beautiful! When Serena and Julie arrived on Saturday, I was just blown away by how much thought and creativity had gone into planning the shower.  Serena planted wheat grass in egg shells and other cute containers weeks before the shower so they would grow and fill the shells and containers for the shower.  They were so adorable!!!  I would have never thought to do something like that!  She also made the most incredible ombre cake!  Seriously, I am still in awe just looking at these pics again!  The layers and frosting went from light to dark pink, and on top of how beautiful it was it was just as delicious!! I can't even imagine how many hours it took her!  She made a cute sign for the front door welcoming Brooklynn to the family, and made some cute banners to hang for decoration. She had a cute little thing to hang pics of Joe and me on from when we were babies, and people also hung little advice cards that Sharon had made.   Julie brought the cutest bowl of pink colored eggs, some super yummy pink and white popcorn, pink candies, a cute little Brooklynn Print that was framed, cute pink bunny cookies, and a yummy fruit platter.  Everyone brought the most yummy foods, and we all had so much fun just visiting.  

I'll let the pics do the talking for themselves.  

Joe's Aunt Susan had this cute little buggy made.  There was a cute Aggie blanket, burp cloths, wipes, diapers, and more.  So adorable!

Ann, Joe's Grandma (Norma), Sharon's mom (Caroline), and Sharon

We haven't decorated our formal dining room yet, so there was plenty of room to put some tables and chairs together.

The cute sign Serena put on the front door.

Serena (Joe's sister) and me

Caroline and Norma

Everyone hanging out and visiting.

Joe's cousin Troy, and Ann

The sweet lovelies that threw the shower for me!!  Love them!

We had some of the boys show up to celebrate with us too!

Ha ha Julie and I were joking about how awesome we always look in the pics Bob takes when we're eating.  Sure enough, here we are looking like goofs again!=)  Sharon and Shelby look great though!=)

Joe's Sweet Aunt Debbie and Julie's Mom (Vickie) who lives in our ward and has pretty much adopted us.  Love her and the rest of her family!

Joe's Grandma, and Sharon's Dad

The cute little gals that got to come and be part of the fun day!  Love Maggie and Addie!

"Born to Shop".......Joe is in for a real treat with two of us!=)  

We got so many things we were in need of, and we're so grateful for everyone's generosity.

My cute little helpers!

                                     

Serena cutting the cake!=)

                                                

AMAZING!!!

Grandpa and Zoey

 Love these girls!

The cute print from Julie.  LOVE IT!!!

Sharon made these cute little Easter Basket party favors, complete with a little chick!  So cute!!

The cute bunny cookies Julie made

The wheat grass grown in egg shells!  Is that not the cutest thing ever?!

I LOVE this too, with the cute burlap and ribbon around it!  Completely says Spring!

The cute girlies working on their craft project

Cute colored eggs!  Such a cute idea!

Here's the table all put together!

I forgot to take pics of all the yummy food we ate!  Trust me when I say it was delish!  

I will always cherish that day!  I was blown away by the love and support that I felt from everyone.  I can't even begin to express my gratitude to everyone that traveled to be here with us, and for all of the time and energy that went into preparing all of the food, decorations, and gifts. It truly was such a special day, and I am so grateful that I married into such a wonderful family.  They made being away from my own immediate family a little more bearable.  Thank you SOOO much to everyone that was there or had any part in throwing the shower.  You sure know how to make a girl feel loved! 

All I'd Ever Dreamed Of

I am so blessed to have such incredible friends and family here in Texas! I was blessed to get to have two baby showers.  One with friends from our ward (Serena was so sweet and came too), and one thrown by Joe's side of the family here in Texas.  I have always been the one going to other people's baby showers and dreamt of the day that I would get to have my own.  Kind of like "always the bridesmaid, never the bride."  Well, that day finally came and it was so special and incredibly fun, and it was everything I dreamed of!  My sweet friend, Haley, offered to throw a shower for me at her beautiful home. We did it on Thursday February 28th, 2013 at 7pm. Three of my other incredible friends wanted to help, and together they did such a wonderful job and made it such a memorable evening for me.   I went around before everyone got there to take some pictures of all they had done!  There were so many people that came to show their love and support, and I can't express my gratitude enough!! 

Haley made all of the cute decorations

This little wreath is made out of diapers!  It's hanging on Brooklynn's closet door now.  So cute! 

The food was so yummy! Rachel brought a yummy pasta salad
that I loved, but forgot to get a picture of.  Everything was so good!

Haley made all different kinds of cupcakes, and had a cupcake bar.  Everyone loved getting to frost and decorate their own cupcakes.  Such a cute idea!

Jillian put fruit in the water dispenser to make it look so pretty, and had the delicious Izze drinks too.

Melissa made these cute little advice cards, and all the ladies filled in a bingo card for when I opened presents.   We also played "guess the babyfood", and I was terrible at it!=)  

There are so many pregnant ladies in our ward right now!  I think there are about 10!  These are two of my friends that have also had a hard time having a baby, and now we're all pregnant together.  Such a miracle, and so fun to experience it at the same time.  Chelle is 3 weeks ahead of me, and Stephanie is due in the summer.

Opening presents was so much fun!!  I have the sweetest friends, and they got some seriously cute things for this baby! I can't wait to play dress up with her!=) Thank you so much everyone!

These are the sweet friends that threw the shower for me!  I'm so blessed to have them in my life! Thank you for making it such a special night!  Love you guys!! (Left to Right: Rachel, Haley, Me, Melissa, Jillian)

(After seeing these pictures I have never worn this shirt again!   Stripes make me look HUGE!!=)  )

Another one of my cute pregger friends!  There must be something in the water!=)  ha ha!  

 After the shower I kind of started to freak out a little bit.  I think seeing all the baby stuff in our house just made it seem more real.  I started to question if I was really ready for this!  I mean, I'm going to have someone else's life in my hands.  The thought of that huge responsibility overwhelmed me for a few days.  Joe was so sweet about reassuring me that I would be a wonderful mother, and reminding me how long we have waited for this baby.  At this point I feel really excited and ready for her to be born.  Back in February though, I had a small melt down.  That's normal, right?=)

Unforgettable Moments

Ok, so I realize these posts are kind of dragging on and some of you may be getting tired of every single post being about my pregnancy.  Plus, I really don't have that many more weeks until this sweet baby girl gets here, so I need to get crackin' and just finish blogging about the pivotal moments during this pregnancy. So, I'm going to try and knock out a couple of them with this post.

November 29th, 2012:  I am almost 20 weeks and up until today I have just been able to feel little "flutters" of the baby moving.This morning, however, I was sitting in the recliner, and I started to feel the baby moving but this time it was very distinct.  I pulled my shirt up off of my belly, and just sat there and watched it.  All of the sudden my stomach was moving!!  It was the coolest, most weird, and beautiful thing all at the same time.  I kind of starting tripping out a little bit!  When your stomach starts moving from the inside out, it's kinda crazy!  It made me feel like an alien or something, not gonna lie! Feeling flutters is one thing, but actually watching my stomach move was so different!  I had never felt anything like it before.

Over the next weeks and months, I really grew to love being able to feel her move. It became comforting to know she was still alive in there and that things were going okay.  I love this part of pregnancy.

I'm trying to remember the exact time frame of when Joe first felt her move.  I think it was just a couple weeks later.  He had been able to watch my belly moving around several times.  One evening I was lying on the couch and he came over and knelt down on the floor next to me and was talking to the baby.  Then he rested his head on my belly.  All of the sudden she kicked him right in the head!  He popped his head up and excitedly and kind of shockingly said "I felt her!!" He laid his head down again, and she kicked again. Then one more time.  He was so excited, and I was so happy that he had gotten to experience it for himself!  

On December 7th, we had our 20 week ultrasound and were planning to find out the gender.  We were both so excited and so anxious!

                                                                                   

In the waiting room right before we went back!!  So excited!!!

After the tech did some measuring, she asked if we were wanting to know the gender.  Our answer was YES!!  Joe has been saying it was a girl from the beginning, and since he was right about the last baby being a boy I was leaning that same way.  We had both said it didn't matter if it was a boy or a girl, we just wanted a baby.  The tech said "It's a girl!!!" I started laughing and said "What?!" and Joe said "I told you!"

   

That night we went to dinner with Joe's family to celebrate his dad's birthday.  We had told everyone that we would give him a present to open that would reveal the gender.  I think by the time we got to that everyone was tired of waiting to know, but we wanted to try and make it fun.  

That night and over the next few days, Joe and I experienced emotions we were not at all expecting.  We both had said that we just wanted a healthy baby, but we discovered that deep down both of us were thinking about the baby boy we had lost and secretly hoping this baby was a boy. I think we thought that if this baby was a boy it would kind of help us heal a little more.  That night and the next day I cried thinking about our son, and missing him.  Then I would feel guilty that this baby would think we didn't want her, which totally wasn't the case.  We were SO thrilled to be having a baby.  I think it was just another step we needed to take in the mourning process.  It only took a couple of days for it to sink in, and we were thrilled about the idea of having a baby girl.  

That Sunday we had planned to Ichat with my family to share the gender with them!  My sister did the sweetest thing, and threw a "Guess The Gender Party" for everyone at my parent's house!  She wanted to surprise me, and wanted to make it a really fun thing for everyone.  Talk about the most amazing sister ever!  I don't know anyone with a kinder heart than her!  She made all sorts of treats, and had everyone chose a bow tie or a tiara to put on depending on what their guess was.  

These are the only pics of my family I can find, but I think most of them guessed it was a boy.

The time came for us to reveal the gender, and this was the idea I had come up with.  We set the computer up on the counter, and I put my haircutting smock on to cover up my outift.  It has snaps so I could easily rip it off.  I told them whatever color shirt I was wearing underneath would tell them the gender.  So, they put the ipad up on the mantle and everyone gathered around.  

It just so happens that I have a blue shirt with snaps too, so Joe and I thought it would be funny to play a little joke on them=) So, everyone thought it was a boy and then.......

They found out we're having a sweet baby girl!!! 

We are so excited to meet this little angel.  I'm 33 weeks now, and I think it's just starting to feel real.  

Emotional Hurdles

10-28-12  I have been very emotional over the past couple of weeks knowing that this week was coming.  Even writing this now is making me cry. I hit 15 weeks of pregnancy this week, which is how far along I was when I lost our last baby..... 15 weeks and 2 days to be exact. A week from that mark in this pregnancy, also would have been the due date of our baby boy.  So, I get to tackle two big days in the next two weeks. Before I got pregnant this last time, I thought that getting pregnant again would help me be able to move on from that last miscarriage.  I was wrong.  It hasn't gotten easier really.  I don't think it's something I will ever forget and be able to "move on" from.  That experience is a part of me, and that sweet baby boy will always hold a special place in my heart.  Joe and I will always miss him and those feelings will never go away.  Sometimes I've just laid in bed and started to cry.  Joe can usually guess right away what I'm thinking and feeling.  I know he goes through the same thing because he will often say "I miss our boy."  I've found that with time the extreme sadness and weight that I felt has been lifted somewhat, but I don't think it's something you "move on" from.  I feel the same way about my grandmother's death.  I never stop missing her, but I don't feel that deep sadness as often anymore like I did when she passed away.  I assumed it would get easier when I got pregnant again, but if anything, this pregnancy has just made me think about him more.  I constantly think to myself "at this point last time, this is what was going on..."

Moving into our house, and leaving our apartment last week was very hard for me. The time finally came when we had to get everything moved over and turn in our keys.  Joe had to work last Saturday so I cleaned the apartment for our final inspection.  When I was done, I just had to sit there for a few minutes and cry.  That was our first apartment together after we got married, we had our first big fight there(over stuffing on Christmas=) ), that's where we spent our first Christmas together, it's where we found out I was pregnant all 4 times, it's where we've shared birthdays, friends and family have come to visit, and so many more wonderful memories.  The hardest thing though was leaving the place where I  held my baby boy for the first time, and witnessed the miracle of life.  Some may think I would want to get away from where that traumatic day in our lives happened, but that's not how I felt.  I guess in a way I felt like the apartment where it happened, and the memories there are all that I had left.  It may seem crazy, but unless you have experienced something similar then it would really be hard to relate to or understand.

 I did dry most of the flowers that we received from friends and family who sent their condolences, and I found a cute glass jar to put them in as something to visually remind us of him.  I'm also going to frame the picture Joe and I took to share I was pregnant with him.  I will always be so grateful that we took these pictures.

It gives us comfort to know that he is with Joe's mom, and my grandma.  Hopefully after these next couple of weeks things will get a little easier, since I won't have any previous pregnancies to relate to after next week.  I know we will both always miss him.

Birthday Surprise

OCTOBER

After I found out I was pregnant, I started thinking of creative ways to tell my family once again that I was pregnant.   Joe and I alternate Thanksgiving and Christmas between our families and this year it was our turn to spend Christmas with my family.  I decided what would be really fun would be just to show up 23 weeks pregnant.  My mom always picks us up from the airport so she would be the first to know, and the thought of seeing her reaction and everyone else's in person seemed really fun!  I had never gotten to a stage of actually looking pregnant, so they had never seen me with any sort of "bump" and I thought it would be great fun, at least for Joe and me, if we just showed up and surprised them!=)  ha ha!  So, that was my original plan.  Well, somehow my plans never seem to really work out.  I don't know why I even come up with them any more=) 

My mom and I share a birthday, which happened to be 3 days after I got my stitch put in.  I had already sent her card and present when Joe and I went to my appointment after I had gotten the cerclage.  Well, I decided I had better ask my doctor if I would be allowed to fly home for Christmas.  Turns out his answer was no!=(  He said around 20 weeks that I would most likely be on house arrest, and possibly bed rest, depending on how things were going.  He also said he didn't want me to be too far away from him in case something happened.  My heart dropped and I tried hard not to cry right there in his office.  I wasn't going to be able to spend Christmas with my family, AND I wasn't going to be able to share with them in person that I was pregnant again.  As disappointed as I was, I knew the most important thing right now was this sweet baby, and doing all I could to make sure he or she was kept safe and healthy and nothing was worth risking that.

So, I had to come up with plan B.  All of my siblings and their families go to my parent's house for dinner on the 2nd, and 4th Sundays of the month.  If someone has a birthday that is when they usually celebrate it all together, unless it's one of the grandkids.  Then their parents usually throw a birthday party.  Anyways, so I found out from my mom she had not opened her present or card I had sent yet.  She was waiting until October 21st when they celebrated with the family.  So, I decided I would send something before then that she could open to share with everyone that I was pregnant.  We usually ichat or facetime on the birthday Sundays to watch family open presents, read cards, and blow out the candles.  So, they wouldn't suspect anything=)  

I decided to write a poem to my mom from the baby, and include a sonogram picture.  I framed it so it's something she could keep and display if she wanted.  I'm no poet, mind you, but I was able to come up with something that turned out pretty cute.  I let my mom know I was sending one more package for her to open on her birthday because I had come across something I knew she would absolutely love and had to get it.  =)  

When the 21st finally came we anxiously watched as she opened her cards and presents, and we told her to save ours for last.  As soon as she opened it, the tears started flowing......from their side and from ours.  She excitedly turned it around to show everyone and then started to read them the poem.  It took a couple start and stops to gain her composure and wipe tears, but she made it through the entire thing.  Tiff was holding the ipad, and scanned the room at one point to show the tears and emotions that everyone in the room was feeling.  It was a very special moment that I will never forget.  Everyone was so loving, supportive, and excited for us.  

     

I had always shared with them that I was pregnant around 6 or 7 weeks, so this was the first time I was in the second trimester before sharing.  Things are going well so far, and I know our prayers and the prayers of our family and friends are being heard.  I really feel like it hasn't been this child's time to come to earth yet, as much as we have wanted it.  The trials that Joe and I have faced together as we have struggled to bring a child into this world, have really strengthened our relationship and love so much.  It was such a fun day to be able to share the exciting news with my family!  

The Miracle Stitch

10-3-12 I'm eleven weeks pregnant this week, and I had my cerclage put in today.  We had to go to a surgical center early this morning. Time has flown by!  I couldn't believe it was already time to have the stitch put in!  This will hopefully be the answer to our prayers of being able to have a child.

I started feeling really nervous after we got there.  I really didn't know what to expect.  The last time I had been somewhere like that, was when I had my d&c done to remove the piece of the placenta that was still in my uterus after I lost our baby.  I got changed into a gown like last time, had an IV put in, and then a bunch of wires hooked up.  The nurse was so sweet, and made me feel comfortable up until Dr. Cook came back to talk to us.  When he arrived I knew it was "go time" and my heart started racing. The unknown is scary, especially when it comes to medical procedures.  I'm not sure how he actually put the stitch in, and I really didn't want to know.  I think I stressed less because I didn't know exactly what my body was about to go through.  My doctor is so sweet and I trust him 100%.  Of course, he and Joe had to talk about Aggie Football before Joe headed to the waiting room.=)

All I can say is thank heaven for anesthesia.  Today was a little different from my last surgery because I remember more.  Last time I didn't remember even saying goodbye to Joe.  This time they started the medication through my IV right before they started to wheel me back to the operating room.  I felt really nervous then.  I remember being pushed down the hall into a different room and them asking me to move over from the bed to something else.  Not sure if it was a table, or what.  I remember lifting myself over, and that's all I remember. I don't have any bruises, so I'm assuming I was successful at moving my body before the medication completely knocked me out. =) Waking up this time was a little more rough.  I would wake up a little, then feel SO tired and totally zonk out again.  This happened repeatedly.  After about the 3rd time I started to feel frustrated with myself a little, because I wanted to wake up and see Joe but I really had no control over my body.  I had the sweetest nurses before and after.  I had to eat some crackers, drink some water, and they wanted me to go to the restroom before they would let me leave.  Joe came back and helped me get dressed.  I was still SO out of it.  They wheeled me out to the car in a wheelchair, and then we headed home.  When we got home I took my pain meds and went to bed.  I slept most of that day.  The anesthesia just totally knocked me out all day.  They had prescribed a pain medication that really kept me from feeling much discomfort afterward.  So thankful for that!  It's exciting to know now that the cerclage is in, and that this pregnancy I have a better chance of making it full term.  My doctor said that once he got in to do the surgery, it was very apparent that I do in fact have a weak cervix.  So, that's a relief that he for sure knows that's what was the cause of my last miscarriage. Everything happens for a reason, and I guess the timing of this pregnancy worked out well.  Heavenly Father must have known we didn't need to do the other tests that we had scheduled before I found out I was pregnant.  We feel much better that our chances of finally having a baby join our family are much higher now.  There are still a lot of things that could go wrong, but we're just going to have faith and trust in God's plan for us. We can get through anything, as long as Joe and I have each other.  

The nurse on the right helped me before the surgery, and the one on the right helped me afterward.  They were both so sweet!