New Beginnings

I mentioned in an earlier post that Joe and I have been taking some big "grown up" steps in our lives.  Besides purchasing our first home, I am also pregnant again!!  I'm 26 weeks along this week and things are going better than I ever could have dreamed.  I have been hesitant to share much until we got to this point, but I have been keeping somewhat of a little journal of my pregnancy and figured I would share it with my family and friends.  Especially since so many of you were there to support me during my very difficult miscarriage in May. If you missed the post I wrote about that very difficult experience, you can read about it here.  http://joeandbre.blogspot.com/2012_06_01_archive.html

After that miscarriage I ended up having to have a D&C to remove part of the placenta that was still in my uterus so it didn't cause infection.  I was heartbroken when the doctor called to tell me that was what she had seen in the ultrasound.  I was almost at the month mark, and would only have to wait one more month to try again to get pregnant.  So, this news was sad and upsetting because after the surgery I would have to wait 2 more months to try to get pregnant again so my body could heal. I felt like it was going to take forever again for me to get pregnant.

Everything went well with the surgery.  Thank heaven for Anesthesia!  I don't remember a thing!=)

The emotional healing is an entirely different story.  It has been by far the hardest thing I have ever had to get past.  Not a day passed for many many months that I didn't think about my baby boy, and shed tears over losing him.  Even now, I still shed tears just thinking about it.  That experience will always be with me, and I will always love and miss that little angel.

Fast forward to August................

I didn't feel confident with the practice and doctors that I was seeing, so I reached out to women in our ward for recommendations of doctors who specialized in high risk pregnancies.  I knew I would most likely have to have a cerclage and wanted a doctor that would be able to help me with that.  A sweet friend in our ward called and highly recommended her doctor.  She said he was the doctor that the doctors recommend.  She was pregnant with twins and had a cerclage in for safety precautions, and just raved about how much she loved her doctor.  So, Joe and I set up an appointment to meet with him.  Joe found out he went to A&M and they totally hit it off.  We were both blown away by how confident and knowledgeable he was!  I told him about my miscarriage and he said that it was his job to try and figure out what happened and to help us have a healthy pregnancy in the future.  He immediately ran tests that day, made a plan for a hysteroscopy, and Joe and I instantly completely trusted him and felt SOO much better than we ever had with my past doctor.

Fast forward to the end of August.................


08/27/12  I took a pregnancy test this morning because I have been feeling nauseous for the past little while.  I completely expected it to say "not pregnant" because Joe and I took two tests together about 3 weeks ago, and I thought I was pregnant then, and both said "not pregnant."  I was surprised when I looked down after brushing my teeth this morning, and saw "Pregnant!"  I knew the nauseousness had not been in my head!=)  When I start wanting to eat applesauce and graham crackers all the time, I know something's up!=)


I have a hysteroscopy scheduled tomorrow morning, where Dr. Cook was going to take a small camera up into my uterus to make sure it's shaped correctly, and that there's nothing structurally wrong that may be contributing to my miscarriages.  That's not an option now because I'm pregnant.  I went in to his office today and had them do a pregnancy test just to make sure.  Dr. Cook also did an ultrasound, and sure enough there is a little bean in my uterus! I can't believe I'm already pregnant again!  I felt like it was going to take forever again, and I'm so relieved that it didn't.  I'm also really nervous because I felt like the hysteroscopy may have provided some answers, and now I'm not able to have that done.  Everything happens for a reason though, and I will try not to worry or stress about it.  I have complete trust in my new doctor, and feel much more confident in his abilities to help us bring a child into this world.  It's kind of sad that Joe and I really don't get our hopes up anymore when I get pregnant.  We have been hurt so many times before that now we just see the positive pregnancy test as the first step.  There are many many more steps to come, and I know we're both afraid of being devastated again so we are very hesitant to let ourselves get excited.  I guess only time will tell what our future will hold. Joe did call me several times throughout the day today after I told him I had taken a test and it was positive.  I think he was anxious to hear how my appointment went and if I really was pregnant.  His voice was definitely chipper when I told him that their tests and ultrasound confirmed it! I feel so blessed, and so nervous.  We'll see what lies ahead for us.

On a side note,  I am really excited that if everything works out we should have our baby in time for us to be able to go to our big family reunion next summer with my dad's family.  In thinking about trying to get pregnant again, that was one of the things that kinda bummed me out....... that it may take a while for me to get pregnant again and I may not be able to go to the reunion.=)  Fingers crossed that all goes well and we can be there.